eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
