We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
