Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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