I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize