I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
