When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
