i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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