I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
