he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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