I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
