if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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