i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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