Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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