You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
