I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
