I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
