i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
