And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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