I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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