people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
