I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize