i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
