I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im six kinds of drunk right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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