Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
