If i come over, it means nothing
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
