how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
