so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
