I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
