Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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