Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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