Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Panties = found
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
