Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
