they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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