I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
