I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
