OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
