some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
