I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
