you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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