So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
