you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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