8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
