Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
