Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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