That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
