well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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