He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
