The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
