He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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