i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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