I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
