hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I am morally bankrupt
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
