you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
