considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
