And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize