i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
