U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
