I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
