I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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