And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
