Where is the hickey?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
