I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
